“We don’t do [ Iraqi ] body counts.”
— General Tommy Franks, US Central Command

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"According to scientists, one day we may have sex with robots. And if you want to know what that's like, just ask Maria Shriver."
— David Letterman

"I admire Hitler, he was a little man who came from nothing with his speech. You know, speech is important, the words we use get respect and other things."
— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger


Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator - Governator

German, Austrian. Same thing. It's that cold Aryan blood. They take steroids and have tiny penises.

king george borg
queen barbara bush
hillary vs giuliani
why they do it
the road to oil
chertoff & katrina
face of the enemy
not in my name
guantánamo & abu graib
bush's bitch
dinner satire
karl rove piggie
who's in charge?
face of the dead
born again dubya
the evil twins
nude emperor
time warp again
lynndie & rumsfie
the ventriloquist
the liberators
old enemies
condi & bushie
swatting flies
war ends
forever war
annie fuehrer
nietzsche's boy
cheney mummy
dr. lovebomb
bush's poodle
turkey & the prez
spider queen
david duke

In the Year of Darkness, 2004, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the Past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created "Governator Schwarzenegger".

"My friends don't want me to mention Kurt's name, because of all the recent Nazi stuff and the U.N. controversy, but I love him and Maria does too, and so thank you, Kurt."
— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger's wedding toast to Kurt Waldheim, Nazi war criminal

"My relationship to power and authority is that I'm all for it. People need somebody to watch over them. Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave."
— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger, in U.S. News

"I was always dreaming about very powerful people - dictators and things like that. I was just always impressed by people who could be remembered for hundreds of years, or even, like Jesus, be for thousands of years remembered."
— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger, in Pumping Iron

"When I was a boy, the Soviets occupied part of Austria. I saw their tanks in the streets. I saw Communism with my own eyes. I remember the fear we had when we had to cross into the Soviet sector. Growing up, we were told, "Don't look the soldiers in the eye. Just look straight ahead."
It was a common belief that Soviet soldiers could take a man out of his own car and ship him back to the Soviet Union as slave labor. Now, my family didn't have a car. But one day we were in my uncle's car. It was near dark as we came to the Soviet checkpoint. I was a little boy. I was not an action hero back then. But I remember. I remember how scared I was that the soldiers would pull my father or my uncle out of the car and I would never see them again. My family and so many others lived in fear of the Soviet boot.
Today, the world no longer fears the Soviet Union, and it is because of the United States of America. As a kid I saw the socialist country that Austria became after the Soviets left."

— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger, 2004 GOP Convention
[FACT: To this date, the Soviets have NEVER occupied Austria]

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on Civil Liberties in the original German."
— Bill Maher

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
— Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger

"California lawmakers just approved tough new anti-pollution legislation. If it goes through, California would have the toughest emissions standards in the country. Ironically, our governor owns five Hummers and chain smokes cigars. He’s the pollutiest governor ever – the man is doing everything but burning tires on his front lawn, and he’s passing this legislation. He also came out strongly against steroids, foreign accents, and frequent use of movie catch phrases."
— Jimmy Kimmel

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger— who last year set up a tent outside his smoke-free state office to smoke cigars— has signed a bill to ban tobacco products in state prisons.

"Do as I say, not as I do."